Protector
by Sam.J.Eller
Summary: Dean knows that his transition to High School has his little brother nervous. He attempts to make things easier for Sam, but ends up doing more harm than good. Weechesters/Teenchesters. One-Shot. Upset/Sad/Sam and Guilty/Protective/Dean.


Note: This fic is lightly linked to my story "Make it Better" but it makes complete sense as a stand-alone. This is for the lovely **KatieWinchester42** who requested this particular situation. This is always written as part of a fic-challenge on tumblr. It's one of those two birds with one stone situations...even though I do not condone violence against birds in any way, shape, or form (unless it's self defense obviously).

* * *

It was no big deal.

Okay, I acted like it was no big deal.

I acted like I wasn't even thinking about it.

Like it didn't matter.

But in reality, it was a pretty damn huge deal.

I had been thinking about it all summer.

Couldn't get it out of my mind.

In reality, the fact that Sam and I would soon be attending separate schools made me anxious, nervous, and down right terrified.

Being in different classes and not having a watchful eye on my little brother for six hours a day was bad enough.

But being in separate buildings?

Not being able to watch over the kid at recess.

Not being able to make sure that no one shoved him in the hallways or stole his lunch.

Not being able to protect him from all the asshole bullies who think that it's okay to pick on kids a quarter their size.

That thought alone horrified me.

But I couldn't let Sammy know that.

I wouldn't let Sammy know that.

I could already tell that the kid was uneasy and the last thing I wanted to do was to let him know that I was scared.

So I acted like it was no big deal.

I spent the summer trying to put some space between my brother and I...a very small amount of space, but space nonetheless.

I wanted to make the transition easier for both of us, mainly Sam.

"Dude, the library is way too damn far." I groaned as we made our way down the street.

"It's only a few blocks, Dean." Sam sighed.

"It's seven blocks. It's all the way across the bloody town. Way too damn far."

"You shouldn't swear." He chastised gently.

I snorted, my ten year-old brother was telling me how to talk.

"Alright Mother Theresa, how about you just worry about your vocabulary and I'll worry about mine."

"Does that mean that I can swear?" Sam asked, his eyebrows raised as he stared up at me.

"No." I answered without a thought.

My little brother was too good to swear. He was too sweet and too young to be using foul language.

"But you just said-

"Never mind what I said. You're not allowed to swear."

"But you can?"

"I'm older." I replied, a cocky grin on my face as I reached down and mussed his hair.

Sam huffed in annoyance at the classic excuse and swatted my hands away from his head.

"Finally." I muttered as the large brown building came into view.

"It didn't even take that long." Sam declared.

"It took forever." I complained as we approached the entrance.

"You're so dramatic."

"Yeah, well you're so short." I shot back lamely, holding the door open for the kid.

"I'm ten." Sam stated in explanation.

"Could have fooled me."

I smirked at my brother's exasperated eye-roll as he entered the library.

For ten the boy sure had a hell of a lot of attitude.

And I loved it.

I directed Sam up to the front desk, informing the lady seated behind it that we were here for the book club, which was quite likely the dorkiest thing I had ever said aloud.

She nodded knowingly and had me sign my little brother in before pointing down the hall to a large room full of kids about Sam's age.

The book club was pretty much a day-camp for dorks.

My Dad had seen the advertisement for it when he had come to the library last week when we showed up in this town. He had registered Sam immediately, knowing how the little geek loved to read and giving him something to do for the last week of summer.

My little brother had lit up when our father came home to tell him, ecstatic over the opportunity to read and make some friends his age before school started up.

But as we stood in front of the entrance to the room, Sam was chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

"You ready kiddo?"

He glanced up at me, nodding. I could see the lie as clear as day, but my little brother was one brave little kid and he was determined to be okay.

"Alright. I'll be back here at three to pick you up."

Sam eyes grew impossibly wide at my statement.

"You're not staying?" He questioned.

"No way man. That many dorks in one room? I don't think so." I joked, trying desperately not to focus on the fear flowing from those big hazel eyes.

"Where will you be?"

"I was going to go hang out with a friend." I shrugged.

"What friend?" Sam inquired.

"You know that guy we met at the arcade a couple days ago?"

He looked thoughtful before nodding.

"Justin?"

"Yeah, he invited me to his place to play some sort of new video game. Thought I'd go over for a bit. It will give me something to do while you are busy being a total nerd."

"Oh." My brother said with a frown.

It killed me that he looked so miserable, that he was staring up at me like I was deserting him.

Didn't the kid know that I would rather sit here and watch him read for five hours than run off and play stupid games?

But we needed space.

And this was a safe place for him.

And we both needed to get used to not always being within yelling distance of each other.

"Hey man, it's not a big deal. You just hang out here and make some new friends, that way when schools starts next week maybe you will already know some people." I stated, reminding my brother of the main reason he was excited to attend the club in the first place.

Sam's frown only deepened at the mention of school.

"I'll be back at three. There's a phone at the front desk, you can use it to call me if you need anything." I reassured, after receiving no verbal response.

The young boy dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Okay." He muttered, shoulders slumping.

Before I could find a way to make things better for him, he was already entering the room and closing the door behind him.

I stood staring into the window, watching as Sam walked timidly around the room, scanning his surroundings.

The kid was already becoming a hunter and he didn't even know it.

A pang seared through my chest, the way it always did whenever I watched another sliver of my little brother's innocence slip away.

I shook my head and glanced at my watch, frowning that next to no time had passed and I had five hours to get through.

Those five hours were hell.

Don't get me wrong, Justin was pretty cool. He was my age, he lived in a huge-ass house and had more video games than I could count. Most of the games we played were war related. And though I had never really played anything like them before, I found myself having to feign interest.

Shooting a gun with the use of a controller was extremely unexciting and inaccurate when you've used such a weapon in real life to kill supernatural fuglies.

I spent the majority of my time staring at my watch, willing the small ticking hands to move faster.

Justin's dad gave me a ride back to the library around two. I had insisted I could walk, but his father said it was storming out and insisted upon driving me.

The rain was coming down hard and the wind was strong by the time I showed up at the library. I didn't care that I was forty-five minutes early, I wanted to see Sam, and I wanted to see him now.

I marched past the front desk and into the back hallway, heading straight for the room and made an abrupt stop so quickly I nearly got whiplash.

The room was empty.

I spun around and rushed back to the desk.

"Where is Sam?" I barked out, watching the librarian jump at my loud inquiry.

"Sorry?"

"My little brother. Sam Winchester. I dropped him off here this morning for the book-club." I explained hurriedly, my gaze repeatedly sweeping the library for any sign of that shaggy hair.

"Oh, the book club let out early because of the severe weather alert." She informed me.

My heart started beating twice it's normal speed and my mouth went dry.

"Wha-what? When?" I stuttered, an endless amount of frightening situations tearing their way through my mind.

"About half an hour ago when the rain started." She explained, nodding out the front windows where you could see water pouring down and wind blowing violently.

"Where did Sam go?" I asked, demanding answers.

The librarian looked up at me quizzically.

"Small kid, about his high, with long brown hair that's always hanging in front of his hazel eyes."

"Oh! Yes. I believe he told me that his father was waiting outside for him, so I signed him out." She replied.

I knew there was no way that Dad was here.

He was out of town on a hunt and would be for the rest of the week, he had just called this morning to check in.

Sam lied.

Why he lied, I wasn't sure.

I tore out of the building, knowing that if no one had picked Sam up that meant he was walking back to the motel.

In the storm.

For seven fucking blocks.

I ran as fast as I could while scanning the streets at the same time.

It was difficult, the rain was so heavy that I could barely see five feet in front of me, which made spotting my small little brother next to impossible.

I was nearly half way back before I caught sight of a wiry young boy trudging down the sidewalk, wiping the soaked hair off his forehead.

"Sam!" I hollered out past the pounding rain, the roaring wind, and the booming thunder.

I watched as the kid's posture instantly straightened and his head turned briefly in my direction, long enough for us to lock eyes before he looked away and continued walking.

"Sammy!" I shouted again, surprised by my little brother's dismissal as I picked up my pace.

Sam tried to move faster as well, but his little legs were no match for my long strides and I caught up to him quickly, arriving breathless at his side and gripping his shoulder to force him to stop.

The young boy tried to shrug me off, but he was clearly exhausted from traveling in the storm against the wind, so I simply tightened my hold and forced him to turn and face me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Sam?" I snapped.

"The club ended early." He stated.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Why would I?" Sam shouted, his furious gaze looking upwards to meet mine.

It was then that I noticed the redness of his eyes, telling me that all the water dripping down his cheeks did not originate from rain.

My heart clenched, the way it always did when this kid cried.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, my tone softer, but still loud to be heard over the noise from the storm.

"Even if I called you, you wouldn't have come!" He accused.

I was stunned into momentary silence.

How could he think that?

When had there ever been a time when I wouldn't drop everything to run to my little brother?

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked upon finding my voice.

"You don't like me!" Sam hollered, his voice cracking as his angry expression melted into one of complete and utter hurt.

"Of course I like you! You're my brother, Sammy." I exclaimed, completely baffled as to how these thoughts had entered the kid's head.

"That doesn't matter! You still don't like me! You don't want me around anymore." He announced, trying to pry my hand from his shoulder and wiggle away.

I grasped him tightly by both shoulders, bending down closer to his face and looking him right in the eyes.

"That's not true Sam! Why would you even think such shit?" I inquired as the boy eventually stilled.

"Because You don't want to spend time with me anymore." He muttered dejectedly.

"Is this because I left you at the club? I thought you wanted to go, if I had known I would have just-

"It's not just that." He interrupted.

"Than what is it Sammy?" I slid the bangs from his forehead to get a clear view of those puppy dog eyes, watching as his bottom lip trembled.

"All summer you-you've been pushing me a-away. You n-never wa-want to do anything with me any-anymore. You do-don't e-even want to go to the sam-same school as me!" Sam declared through hiccupping sobs.

I watched as my little brother completely lost the fraction of composure he had been holding onto and I instinctively tugged him toward me wrapping my arms around his thin trembling body as he cried into my shirt.

I felt his bony arms encircle my mid-section and fingers clutch at the back of my shirt as the shaggy head pressed closer into my chest.

I stood there, feeling the cold rain pounding down and soaking through my clothes, feeling the wind whip around my body and hearing the thunder rolling overhead.

But I barely noticed any of that, because I was too distracted by my kid brother's smothered sobs and the guilt filled thoughts bombarding my brain.

How could I have let this happen?

How could I not see how Sam was feeling?

Of course the kid thought I didn't want him around, I had spent an entire summer pushing him away.

I had encouraged him to spend time on his own.

Any time he had brought up a concern about being in school alone I had brushed it off or made a joke.

He didn't know that I was doing everything in an effort to get us both comfortable with being apart.

He didn't know that I was concerned or that I even gave a shit.

I shook my head at myself as I ran a comforting hand up and down my little brother's vibrating back.

I had gone about this all wrong.

I should have spent time reassuring Sam with my words. Should have made sure he knew that no matter the distance, I would always be there for him and protect him.

Instead I forced space between us without giving the kid any sort of explanation.

I was such a moron.

A bright flash of lightening and deafening boom of thunder pulled me from my thoughts.

Sam's sobs had faded and his body leaned heavily against mine, the kid had cried himself into exhaustion.

I pulled my brother away from me, frowning as I watched him shiver.

"C'mon buddy, we've got to get you warm and out of this storm." Without a second thought I tugged Sam's arms over my shoulder and squatted down.

"I can walk. I'm fine." Sam rasped, even as he fell against me and willingly wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I know." I commented, hefting the young boy up onto my back and walking briskly in the direction of the motel.

The wind had died down, but water proceeded to pour from the sky in sheets.

I carried my brother back to our room, all the while feeling his skinny frame shiver against my back as the cold rain continued to drench us.

I wracked my mind with a way to fix what I had done, and decided I was just going to have to sit the kid down and have on hell of a chic-flick moment.

"Alright buddy. Get out of your wet clothes and put on something warm before you catch a cold." I ordered softly as we entered the room and placed Sam on the floor.

My little brother nodded lethargically as he grabbed some dry sweats and headed to the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes at the kid's constant need for privacy as I changed into my own set of dry clothing.

After we were both dry and beginning to get warm-up, I told my brother to sit and planted myself across from him, our knees nearly touching as we faced each other.

"Sammy. I need you to listen to me."

Two sad puppy-dog eyes stared over at me for a moment before Sam sent me a small nod.

"I messed up."

The young boy's eyebrows climbed at the confession, but he remained silent and attentive.

"We are going to different schools this year." I announced unnecessarily.

The corners of Sam's mouth fell, followed by his shoulders.

"And I know that you're nervous about that."

My brother nodded.

"And so am I." I admitted.

The look of surprise I received was further confirmation that I had seriously screwed up.

How could Sam not know that I was worried, no, flat-out terrified at the thought of being away from him?

Oh right, because I hid that from him.

I made him think I didn't care.

"And I wanted to make the whole transition/separation easier for the both of us, specifically you."

Sam's expression was purely skeptical.

"I thought that maybe if we got used to being apart, or at least had some practice at being out of earshot from one another...than maybe being in different schools wouldn't be such a big deal."

My ten year old brother appeared pensive.

"I didn't mean to be an asshole. I just...I was trying to make it all easier. It was stupid." I elaborated.

"But even when I tried to bring up school you wouldn't talk about it." Sam pointed out quietly, staring at me quizzically.

"I know. That's just because I didn't want you to be scared, and I didn't want you to know that I was feeling the same way. I wanted you to think that it was no big deal." I replied honestly.

Sam took it all in, turning it over in his head.

I smirked, because I swear this kid had a giant brain along with the maturity and thought process of a person twice his age.

I waited patiently, practically able to hear the wheels turning as my brother worked through everything he had heard.

Finally he released a sigh and his hazel eyes found mine.

"You should have just been truthful." He stated softly.

"I know buddy." I agreed.

Sam nodded, and just like that, I knew I had been forgiven.

But there was still one more thing I need him to understand.

"And Sam, don't you ever think that I don't want you around, or that I don't like you. Because that has never and will never be the case."

"Really? Even though I'm a dork? And I'm littler than you? And I always follow you around?" He questioned, looking unsure.

I leaned forward, getting right in the kid's face, slicking his soaked hair off to the side so I had a direct line of sight to those soulful orbs.

"It doesn't matter how dorky or small you are little brother. I like you. And I love hanging out with you. And that won't ever change." I expressed firmly, being sure Sam heard me loud and clear.

He studied my face the way he often would when trying to figure out if I was messing with him, and he must have seen the truth in my expression, because the joy returned to his features and he smiled.

However, his grin faltered a short second later.

"What about school?"

I forced myself not to shrug the question off this time, but instead to face it head on, because that was what Sam needed me to do.

"It'll be like every other year. Except this time if someone gives you trouble you might have to tell me about it, because I might not be there to see it."

Sam began chewing on his bottom lip, his gaze dropping.

"But Sam." I waited for his eyes to find mine. "I will always be around to protect you. It doesn't matter if we are in different classrooms or schools, hell it doesn't even matter if we are in different sates; I will **always** protect you. No matter what."

My little brother's smile returned, his dimples making an appearance as he looked at me, that familiar hero-worship in his eyes.

"Thanks Dean." He whispered, gratitude oozing from his quiet tone.

"Anytime Sammy." I promised.

The kid looked at me like I was fucking batman.

And I didn't deserve it, not for a second.

Not after what I did to him, the way I hurt him.

But I would make it right.

Whatever I had to do.

I would make it right.

I would make sure that from now on Sam knew I would always be there for him, regardless of distance or any other obstacle that found it's way between us.

I would do anything to protect him.

To keep him safe.

Because he was my little brother, smart as a whip, emotional as a girl, more fun than any stupid video-game and more forgiving than any other human-being on the planet.

He deserved to be protected.

Sam mean everything to me, and I was more than happy to be his body-guard.

His enforcer.

His guardian.

His Big Brother

And maybe someday I would deserve that look my kid always gives me.

That look that tells me that I'm more than just his protector.

I'm his hero.

* * *

Note: My laptop is pretty much dead, so this is another fic that has been written on my ipod, therefor I apologize for any spelling/grammar atrocities. Thanks for Reading! Please do review/comment if you have a second. I really appreciate the feedback! - Sam


End file.
